As hard as it has been, I have to find forgiveness in myself for my son’s premature birth. Some people may think that it’s no big deal, but having your first child go through so much actually can take it’s toll on you. There are times that I find myself depressed for a lot of reasons… All of which include previous trips to a counselor and anti-depressants. They all helped, but there is still a part of me that has a hole, a black abyss that is beyond words in trying to explain. I just have to take each day at a time and do everything possible to assure that my son gets caught up.